Stress isn’t the enemy; it’s what we tell ourselves about stress that can become our greatest obstacle. Many leaders, myself included, often find themselves caught in a cycle of rumination and self-criticism when stress levels rise. The key to handling stress isn’t about eliminating it but learning how to channel it effectively—either by managing it or using it as a catalyst to accomplish the work only we are capable of doing.
Our negative self-talk often originates from external voices, whether from our youth or adulthood, that convinced us we weren’t enough. The truth is, our time and energy are limited. Letting these critical voices run unchecked wastes precious time and only amplifies stress.
So, how do we respond when faced with high levels of stress? Here are three approaches leaders can use:
1. Emotion-Focused Coping
To manage stress effectively, seek out safe, non-judgmental people who allow you to process your emotions. For example, just last week, I spent 30 minutes on the phone with a close friend discussing my stressful day. This conversation helped me release tension and move past the initial emotional reaction, allowing me to confront my negative self-talk with greater clarity.
2. Problem-Focused Coping
This approach involves exploring multiple options when faced with a stressor. For instance, if you experience conflict with someone, you might choose to have an open conversation with them, tackle a difficult task head-on, or even remove yourself from the situation entirely. The important thing to remember is that, no matter the situation, you always have some level of control and choice when managing stress.
3. Avoidance-Focused Coping
In some cases, you may decide to distance yourself entirely from the source of stress, especially if it’s something beyond your control. However, this option works best in moderation. Those who experience higher levels of anxiety or tend to be impulsive may find that avoidance only postpones the inevitable. It’s crucial to know when avoidance is beneficial and when it might be holding you back.
How do you manage those stress maintaining thoughts?
Tags: #leadership