The executive walks into the meeting stressed, anxious or even angry. What happens next? The rant, the complaining, the frustration and maybe even yelling. They say they are just venting. The team responds with fear, self-condemnation and maybe even ashamed. What does this do in the short term to the team? It may get them moving, asserting themselves, taking charge and pushing for greater accountability in the short-term. In the long-term, credibility and trust will likely waver. Demonstrating negative emotion can be helpful and commonly is not. Teams may need to see that honest raw emotion, but in the long run it will not move your team toward greater results.
This behavior has happened in many meetings I have been a part of both as a facilitator and as an employee. As an employee, I feel insecure and start to own the executive’s emotion – even though I know it is not mine to own. As a facilitator I observe how the group responds. Many times, I will ask “What is the impact of this emotion on you?” – if the executive is open to the feedback. The term that is used for this is called “Executive Wake” Just as a boat when traveling along the water creates a wake each of our shown emotions demonstrate a wake. This wake can be calm like a lake in the early morning hours or it can be heavy, high and unpredictable like a hot Saturday afternoon in the summer.
Executives you must manage your wake. Here is how –
Reduce – Reduce the throttle and take a deep breath. It does not mean that you ignore your emotions. You first must notice how you are feeling. Then choose to demonstrate composure so that your team sees your confidence.
Remind – Remind yourself and your team what your vision is. Telling the team to take the materials, build a boat and keep it within budget is not a vision. A vision of building a boat is about the serenity of the water, the sunset and the calming of the waves crashing against the bow. That is the vision. Your vision can create both inspiration and clarity and it reminds us of why we are here!
Respond -When the bad news comes, respond do not react. A response evokes control and calm. React evokes negative emotion.
How are you doing as you manage your stress?