The layers of what you can know…

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I am faced with a decision right now. I realized last night that I was in my head just trying to figure it all out. The reality is that this process of 50 interviews in 90 days will only allow me to obtain answers to the things that are actually knowable. There is always going to be a fair amount of uncertainty. This then creates anxiety.

Also, even when I find this new position, cause or job there will still be pain and hard. I may even be fully engaged, but the hard will still be there. The cause will be too, which provides comfort because then it really feels worth it to me. This creates anxiety too because I probably believe or expect that a life lived with cause could be anxiety free. Yikes, this is an unreal expectation.

A few things I believe that are true here:
* I can find a position or job that has a cause I can connect with
* I can find a position that allows me to coach, mentor, have tangible goals, teach and counsel
* I can find a place that has me engaged for a greater part of my day than the lessor part of my day.
* This is truly a journey. The next big decision will not be my last. It could be just the beginning of getting closer.
* I cannot know it all. There will be uncertainty and this creates anxiety. I can handle it though.